Every year around this time we start reflecting on how the previous year has treated us and how we plan to approach the New Year. We start seeing posts on social media about resolutions. We discuss our heartaches and successes with loved ones. We begin writing out our intentions for the New Year. A friend recently asked me, “What is your word going to be for 2019?” My word? Am I supposed to choose only one? I usually include many, many words in my vocabulary all year long!
As I’ve listened to clients, family and friends this past week I began to identify common goals and resolutions: weight loss, saving more and spending less, improving sleep hygiene, less time on screens and more time reading books, more family dinners, more exercise, begin meditating, and regular date nights were some of the more popular ones. This really got me thinking. Every year we do this. We decide this year will be different. This will be the year we feel happy and healthy! Things will be different… better… and we will finally reach that place we think will bring us success, joy and peace of mind.
As I explored deeper I began to see patterns and themes emerge. Connection to self and others. Self-care. Self-acceptance. Security. Safety. Confidence. It makes me so sad. Because, all of it comes down to loving ourselves and loving others. No amount of weight loss, money in your account, or date nights can make us happy. We have to learn to love ourselves exactly as we are today. Because when we show up in love and kindness for ourselves, we automatically behave in ways that support health and well-being. So, I say this year we decide that our resolution/goal is to radically accept ourselves as we are in the moment and practice self-love all year long!